strong willed child

The parenting habit that changed my threenager's attitude

I hated working for other people. Nearly every job I had came with a boss who micromanaged. Anyone who ever had a micromanaging boss, knows how suffocating and ineffective that management strategy can be. I always felt like I was on the brink of getting in trouble, which in turn made me so anxious that I would mess up and get in trouble. Or sometimes I would just say eff it and do things the way I thought they should be done because I knew I'd get in trouble no matter what. It was a never-ending cycle.

I recently realized the same thing was happening with my threenager.

To the mama of a "spirited" (read: strong-willed) child

"I see those moms who are bending down to their kid's level, speaking in a soft tone as their child quietly does what they say. How come that doesn't work for me?" I shared with my mom the other day as I was lamenting over the fact that I'm not the quiet, gentle-spirited mother I always dreamt I'd be.

"Those moms are just different than you." My mom explained that softer quieter souls breed softer quieter (aka more submissive) children. "Your home will always be a little more volatile than other homes, because you are...spirited."