They say there is a 7 year itch. Well, I've got an itch and this guy is the only one who can scratch it. Yes, I understand that sounds dirty and I don't even care.
When I was growing up, I remember my parents going to Napa Valley for a business trip which they turned into a mini vacation. They left us at home with a babysitter. No big deal, right? Wrong! I remember our babysitter didn't even have her drivers license at the time. That means, my parents left their 4 precious children at home with another human that was not even 16 years old. What on earth were they thinking?
The times are different now! Not only is our generation way more wary about who watches our kids, the people who are willing and responsible to watch our offspring are few and far between and because of the most basic principle of economics: supply vs. demand, they are hella expensive. I'm talking $12-$15/hr. That's for a high schooler with basic CPR training and a drivers license. Not that we would ever let them drive our kids anywhere, but at least we don't have to pick them up or bring them home.
I live for date nights with my main squeeze.
As a work at home mom, I spend my days wiping up snot, poop, pee, juice, bug guts, yogurt, spit, and anything else that has the capability of spilling. I hear my name repeated over and over and over, except it isn't my name, it's my designation: mom. It's what I am and what I do, but it is not all of me.
"Be honest, you are a messy person in general." I could tell he was watching the words slowly leave his mouth as if they were being physically written in the air like a painfully cliche airplane sky writing proposal. I'm sure he was wishing he could grab those words, pull them back and shove them into his mouth before they reached my ears. If the regret of speaking that phrase didn't kill him, my "oh, heeeeeellllll no" stare would probably do the job.
Do you remember when you just had one baby, and he or she was just that: a baby? Relatives and loved ones from all around were lining up to watch them for you so you could have time together as a couple and still prioritize your marriage after having kids. Then, right about 8 months into that child's life, fewer and fewer people wanted to help you out. Apparently babysitting isn't as fun and convenient once a child starts crawling. Then, you went ahead and got yourself knocked up again and now that you have 2+ kids, the offers stopped coming and whenever you ask they are all of a sudden busy all the freaking time. Convenient.
Your kids are little and needy and sometimes it's just easier to stay in than attempt to be a regular human being and go out for a date. But dating your spouse is super important because you love each other and you need to remind yourselves that you are some damn attractive motherfathers and enjoy each other's company and remember that you actually like each other. If you aren't dating, it is so easy to fall into a rut of being roommates who share duties of raising the tiny humans who steal all of your sleep and eat all of your blueberries.
I had a friend who was about to have her third babe and she shared, "Giving birth is one of my favorite things ever." At the time I was pregnant with my first babe and thought she was crazy (I mean she was pregnant, so she probably was a bit crazy). This was the first time I had ever heard something positive about giving birth. I was bombarded with horror stories about birth. Everything that can go wrong. The pain. The watermelon coming out of a pea size hole. The screaming. You've heard it all before, so I won't go into detail.
As Mother's Day approaches, I am seeing more and more commercials for bouquets of fruit (wtheck) and heart-shaped necklaces (gag me!). Now, if you have a new mom in your life, let me tell you that while she is trying to eat healthy, she doesn't need a centerpiece of bananas and the small human attached to her hip will likely try to strangle her with that cliche piece of jewelry. Here are a few things I guarantee any new mom would love to receive:
Pregnancy is hard. Marriage is hard. Put them together and they can be super duper hard. The weeks and months leading up to pregnancy are exciting. They are filled with sex and baby names, but mostly sex. So needless to say, marriage is pretty strong at that point. The first couple weeks into pregnancy are fun and exciting too. You and your husband have a big secret about a tiny person and the emotional intimacy that comes along with sort of secret is unreal! Then week 6 hits (about 2 weeks after finding out about your bean)...