A Letter to my Tantrumming Toddler

Tantrumming Toddler | momming is hard

Dear Toddler of Mine,

I hear your screams and I see you on your back flailing your limbs because you want another cupcake (yes, readers, I sometimes give my toddler cupcakes - sue me). You are too young to understand that tantrums will not fly in our house, but for now I will let you learn on your own that tantrums are an ineffective way to get what you want. You can tantrum as long as hard as you want, but there will be no cupcake. Partially because that last cupcake is my reward for surviving another day, but also because I want you to grow up in to a strong and patient and considerate and self-controlled adult.

As your mother, I love you too much to give in to your demands. If I gave into your tantrums just to ease my head ache, you would learn that you can get what you want by throwing a fit. I love you too much to let you grow up into a person who thinks they should get everything they want when they want it. In real life, rarely do we get what we want, when we want it. It's my job as your mom to prepare you for "real life." Real life is wonderful, but often has its disappointments. The disappointments are easier to swallow if you've learned to cope. The only way you can learn is through experience.

Do you think Kanye West's mom gave in to his tantrums? Yes. She probably did. See my point, child? Do you want to grow up to be like Kanye? The answer I am looking for is "NO" (though I would also accept "H-E-double-hockey-sticks NO!!"). I promise you, I want to give you that cupcake! I want to make you happy. It brings me so much joy to shower you with things you love - hence the first cupcake. Do not forget that I already gave you a cupcake. 

But, instead of giving you that cupcake, I will listen to you cry all day, if that's what it takes. All because I love you. I will distract you with blueberries. All because I love you. I will hold you tight to ease your frustration and whisper I love you in your sweet ear. All because I love you. I will hide the cupcakes so they are out-of-sight-out-of-mind (no need to taunt your little sweet tooth). All because I love you. I will distract you with a toy and read you Little Blue Truck over and over until I want to puke. All because I love you.

Sweet child, when you see me standing there doing nothing about your frustration over that last cupcake sitting on the counter, remember it's because I love you more than anything and all I think about all day every day is the person you will grow up to be someday. If listening to you cry, even though it hurts me to the core, will make you a better person, I will do it for as long as it takes. I promise that someday you will thank me for this (though it probably won't be until you have kids of your own). I love you times infinity squared.



p.s. if it helps, the cupcake will be gone by tomorrow.