Unqualified as a parent and the clingy two's

No one told me about the clingy two's! Both of my kids have always been fiercely independent. I play and interact with them, but most of the time they feel more at home when I give them space to explore and figure things out for themselves. | momming is hard

No one told me about the clingy two's! Both of my kids have always been fiercely independent. I play and interact with them, but most of the time they feel more at home when I give them space to explore and figure things out for themselves.

Lately this girl has been quite clingy. Not so much in the day to day activities, but she is super clingy at bedtime. She cries in her crib that she's scared and that she needs me. When I go in, she insists on cuddling and wraps her sweet arms and legs around me like a monkey as if her life depended on it. I don't know if she is actually scared or if she is just manipulating me to put off bedtime. Either way, I don't want to give into her fears. I don't want my girl to think she always needs to be rescued.

These are the situations I am unqualified to handle.

No one ever told me the right way to teach your kids to deal with fear. I feel like the only thing anyone prepared me for was changing diapers and literally everything else in parenting I had to learn on the job through trial and error. On top of that every single child is different. Tactics that would have eased my son's mind don't make any sort of impact with my daughter. Everyday I pray for wisdom and everyday I take a close note on what works and what doesn't with each child.

This week I'm learning that this sweet girl of mine responds to empowerment if I give her the chance.

Instead of dismissing her fears or rescuing her, I've begun asking her what she's afraid of and what she thinks we can do about it. Then I do whatever I can to help her be the solution to her own fear. This is what has worked this week and anyone who is a parent knows that it does not mean that will work next week, but it's a start.

Being a parent is hard and I have no clue what the hell I'm doing.

Someone please tell me I'm not alone here! Anyone else feel clueless as a parent?

Sarah Knox

Minnesota