Welcome to Uffda: momming is hard
Hi dear friends,
Thank you for visiting. Let me introduce myself. I am Sarah, a mom of two babes (currently 3 months and 18 months). Before I entered motherhood, I always knew this is what I was meant to do. Then I had my first baby and it totally confirmed it. Then, I had my second baby and...
SHIZ HIT THE FAN!! Big time. Maybe it was a mix of postpartum hormones and having two babies under 16 months old, but all of a sudden my totally cool and relaxed momness decided to run off and be replaced with crazy and tired and "I can't talk good" momness. I shouldn't feel this way because I have easy babies. Like really easy. They like to eat and they sleep during the night and are awake during the day for the most part. What more could anyone ask for?? NOTHING! They are total perfection and I love being their mom more than life itself.
The thing is: momming is harder than it looks. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm the only one who gets overwhelmed before I even have a chance to make coffee. Maybe I'm the only one who cries because my toddler doesn't seem to want to play with me. Maybe I'm the only one who binge eats during nap time to deal with the stress. Maybe I'm the only one who considers going to Target without littles a vacation. Maybe. But probably not.
Maybe you feel you are alone in this and you are wondering why all these moms on Pinterest are able to raise 15 kids while homeschooling and still find time to make snow globes out of mason jars while you can't remember if you brushed your teeth today. You are not alone. Did I brush my teeth? No, seriously...did I?
You are a wonderful mother. The fact that you worry about whether or not you are a good mother proves that you are a great mother. Your babies love you more than you will ever know. If you want to feel normal, come visit with me. It will calm your nerves.
Motherhood is about sacrifices. We sacrifice our bodies. We sacrifice our careers. We sacrifice our free-time, interests, hobbies, privacy, girls nights out, slow quiet mornings, stain free clothes, and pretty much anything else you held dear before cranking out a bunch of tiny humans that somewhat resemble a less tired version of yourself.
But motherhood isn't all bad.
They refuse everything you give them. You long for the days of old when a boob would suffice and you knew they were getting all the nutrients they needed. You worry that they aren't getting enough calcium or potassium. Oh crap! What about iron? Do you think they are getting enough iron?
Before having kids, you promised you wouldn't give your offspring Mac & Cheese every night. Instead, they'd be "cultured" and would like things like curry and sushi (at least the unauthentic cooked kind). Now you *actually* have kids and they don't eat squat.
Pregnancy after loss - for some reason I was in denial that the possibility of a miscarriage would happen to me... until it happened. I ended up having a d and c and after that was planning on waiting a few months to start trying again and then BAM... pregnant, about 2 weeks after the procedure.
I wasn't filled with excitement or the tears of happiness that I was with my first. I instantly felt anxiety and my head filled with all the 'what ifs' and it didn't go away until my son was in my arms. I never felt like I would actually get my baby. Ultrasounds were the worst for me (that's how I found out I lost my first), I went in blissfully unaware anything was wrong.
As a parent I want the best for my children, but I am exhausted by all of the things our culture tells us our kids need to do in order to succeed. I look at my social feed and see my peers with their toddlers and preschoolers talking about preschool applications or shuffling their littles from dance to swimming to soccer. And I wonder, am I missing the mark?
Bedtime and Naptime have been a major struggle at our house the past couple of weeks. In that everyone is refusing to do it.
I don't know what it is about these times of day that is so draining, but they are. By the end of the day, the grace has run out. The prospect of sitting with a glass of wine, watching a show without any educational value is just around the corner, but these little people won't let you! They know life goes on after they are in bed and they are struggling with major #FOMO
My whole life I dreamt of being a mom. It's literally all I've ever wanted to do in life. I prayed for a sweet baby that I could love and play with and raise with my amazing husband.
Mom. MOM. MOOOooooOooooOOOOOOM!
I see you, mama. Hiding in the shower, eating chocolate so your body can have the sugar it needs to not lose your shit. Maybe if you wait it out, they will fall asleep. Obviously that is a joke, because in what universe do your children ever fall asleep?! It is reasonable to assume that they may forget what they needed your help with and get distracted with something else. Here's to hoping.
I once was a mom of #2under2. That had it's many challenges. It's like having 2 babies, but babies who have different needs and are in two totally different developmental stages. In that first 6 months of having two under two, we all cried every single day. Then once my little one turned 1, it started to get easier and every day after that got easier and easier.
My kids are now 2 and 3 and they are BFFs, except when they are not.
I am a very "go with the flow" parent (which I know is a weird combo with my helicopter parent tendencies). I play each day by ear all in the name of "play" and "experiencing childhood" with my kids. I love to be spontaneous and keep our lives free for whatever we *feel* like doing.
You know what does not mix with a free range mama? Toddlers and preschoolers.
Last night my son lost his stuffed tiger. We talked and talked about all the places he'd taken him and he was nowhere to be found. It took him over 3 hours to fall asleep and he was inconsolable.
My heart ached as I listened to him talk and cry about tiger, not understanding why I couldn't fix the problem. I wanted to fix it so bad, but I just couldn't. I looked everywhere. We texted grandma to see if tiger was there, but she looked all over and tiger was no where to be found. I couldn't help him and I couldn't comfort him. We were both weary and tired and no closer to finding tiger.