What happens when I try to do it by myself
I am all about the #hustle and I have a horrible tendency to take pride in that. God made me a very capable woman, and how do I repay him? By taking everything into my own hands and trying to do it myself.
Here's, the deal. It can't be done by myself. Trust me, I have fallen on my face, lost clients that were a "sure thing" and burnt out to the point of having an anxiety attack that had had me losing the feeling in my hands and legs. All because I was trying to spin my wheels for my own gain. Not cool, me.
And I'm not saying this from a "I learned this long ago and want to share my wisdom with you," mentality. No! Just last night I lost out on a client after an amazing connection and initial meeting. It left me dumbfounded wondering what I had done wrong. I replayed the interactions over and over in my head. I had NAILED that meeting and had been using this client's services MY ENTIRE LIFE. It could not have been a better fit. Yet, they passed.
It was a low blow, but as I finally sat down to pray about it (finally, like the fool I am waiting), I started to realize I had not welcomed God into this bid. I had planned and prepped and presented all on my own efforts. They were not enough. God and I started this auction business 10 years ago and somewhere along the way, I took over.
I felt ashamed coming to Him for repentance this morning. Will He still want me? Will He still want to partner with me after the crappy way I treated Him? How could He? What if I let Him down again (which I inevitably will)? Ya'll, he gives grace generously. There is an abundance of it and it never runs out. I will continue to fall sort of His expectations as His daughter, as a mother, as a wife and as a normal person, but time and time again as I come crawling back in humility (to be clear, I'm humbled by my foolishness), he has a whole pot of grace just waiting to pour on me. And he has more grace waiting for you. His grace is made perfect in our weekends, mamas. Don't be afraid of your failures, instead use them as an opportunity to see just how much your God loves you.